There simply aren’t words to describe my love affair (ongoing since age 5) with pens. Thankfully young children weren’t often arrested for stealing pens. If they were, I’d certainly be facing three-strikes.
I could chalk up this obsession as a collection of sorts. But that wouldn’t entirely be accurate. In keeping with ‘openness and sincerity of expression,’ I’d have to admit that the amassing of pens might actually qualify me as a hoarder. (Keep in mind that the first step to rehabilitation is admission.)
I like holding the pen, speculating how well it may or may not write. Is the barrel a sham for what’s to come? Did the manufacturer cheap-out on the mechanics and ink? If it sputters, splatters or skips it’s a no-go. (Cue smoke and mirrors.)
I am also fixated on the way a pen writes. Did you know that there’s actually a tip between fine and medium point? It’s called ‘the perfect pen.’ If it’s too fine, you run the risk of ripping the paper while trying to forge your parent’s signature. Most medium point pens inexplicably and inconsistently vomit on your most important documents. Don’t laugh, but I have to say 99.9% of my Hello Kitty pens fall under that title of The Perfect Pen. I know, I said it. I’ll own it.
Finally, while I do love black pens most of the time, I insist on writing in blue when filling out all medical and school registration forms. My information is important and I want it to stand out. Don’t ask me a question, when the answer is clearly on the form I just completed. It’s not my fault you can’t distinguish my answer from the question without cheaters at a 2.0.
A good pen will help you write better…at least that’s what I tell myself. Besides the coveted Mont Blanc (currently on my wish list), this obsession is relatively harmless, financially speaking. I’m never without options – be it in my office, purse or bedside table. Unfortunately, over the years, I’ve insisted that my daughters increase their selections to include the latest glitters, gels, Le Pens, Metallic Sharpies and one Chubby each. They’ll thank me for it later. I’m sure of it.